Spongebob Says...

I'm not a spongebob fan but you wouldn't know that: I have TWO spongebob teddies on my special window sill. One was a gift (or it was stolen, i don't remember) from my Freshman roommate at Howard Lola (lAw-lah not lOw-lah) and the second was a parting gift from my assistant at my Sophomore Internship at Credit Suisse in 2009. My first roommate in college (KNUST in Ghana) was a huge fan though. I remember our room always looking cheery because of those lovely yellow spots....but I digress....

The little inscription up there caught my attention because it is one of those issues that we all try to understand. Girl/Boy loves Boy/Girl (or Girl/Boy) and knows deep down that there is a better person inside of them. So we shower them with all the love we can muster and wait for them to give up their bad boy/femme fatale ways and settle their love on us. We know how this story ends..... but there is hope. I believe that the baddest boy or girl will one day (in their own time and for their own reasons) find that person who makes them want to be different, with minimal effort on the person's part. Until then, be yourself and let love discover you.

3 of Us Nuts: Spyda

This is my first public post... let me tell you why...

I am a writer. Words have been my therapy, my solace, my shell for as long as I can remember. But more than that, words have been my secret. Many tears have been buried in my words and if you search far enough (actually, in a little box no one is allowed to open) you will see my journey... every emotion, every phase, every secret

My name is Spyda...... The thinker, the philosopher, the 'Head'. I am grounded, and with good reason... I live in a curious body in a sensual world filled with sights and textures and somebody has to be in charge. I am a Christian, why wouldn't I be... God is Love, and Love is my purpose. I give my love freely, unconditionally, without expectations and I have never been disappointed... and so I love. I am mysterious.....

Del Likes To....(culled from Google)

1. Del likes to "bean"them
2. Del likes to load his reel starting with the back of the line :-/
3. Del likes to go out dancing
4. Del likes to display fake ads from magazines in his cabinet
5. Del likes to reach out to young hispanics in need :)
6. Del likes to travel (but hates the packing)
7. Del likes to slip video game references into many of his songs
8. Del likes to remind everyone he is a trained killer
9. Del likes to meddle *runs and hides*
10. Del likes to work from home because he is black, and because when he is at work, his white peers smack his legs with small wooden lollipop sticks.

THIS WAS DEFINITELY FUN :)

Oladele in the House

Girl Talk

I miss it. Talking about nothing for hours, making plans, having dreams, sharing secrets....... I am first to announce to anyone that my closest friends are far away, and they are better friends than I could ever find. So today's friends are 'party-buddies' and 'gal-pals', people who know nothing about who I am and share nothing with me but lip gloss and sex-tips. Who am I kidding? My perfect friends are gold, old and aging, preserved only by the gentle sands of time... I have placed them on pedestals of perfection that I created because they are 'safe'. They do not see me everyday, and I only share with them what I want. I can not know what they have become, only that they are perfect and could do no wrong....


I hide because I do not want to be judged. I look around and I am lost, just as everyone else around me. They cannot help me and sadly, I cannot save them..... But I know that we need each other. One day I will look around and need a woman who is strong, whose wisdom can carry me when I am losing my head... I know she will be right beside me... but I will not know her.

Wanted: Daddy

I rarely write about issues I have not experienced...but of course, I am curious.


How important is it for a woman to grow up with a strong, stable father figure in her life? What are "Daddy Issues"? A legitimate gaping hole in the fabric of our society, or the miserable excuses of loose women who are not ready to take responsibility for their depraved actions?


I have always had my father, so I will not offend anyone by judging or pointing fingers. I tried to imagine growing up as a young girl without my father....and to be honest it was not hard. He was young, and he worked hard. Until I turned 7, I did not know that fathers lived with their families... I thought they just visited from time to time. But no matter how many times he was away, I always KNEW I had him, MY Daddy.  He was my hero, my provider, my first man. Because of him, my mother was safe, protected, maybe even respected. I never saw her sacrifice her pride to feed me.... never saw her sacrifice her pride to men who came and were gone in months. Because of him, I know that One man can love One woman no matter how difficult she sometimes becomes, or how high the bills get....and even though I act like it's no big deal, I know that my father gives me so much by being there....and being the best man he could be. More importantly, because of his honesty I know that a man who is not perfect is not less than a man....but enough about me already.


Without my father, maybe I would be one of the world's Lost Little Girls too. Maybe I would believe that I always had to be beautiful on the outside and slave for a man's fleeting affection. Maybe I would be unable to stick with one man because I do not know that the next good thing is only new until it gets old. Maybe I would forget to celebrate myself and look for self-love in the arm of another...maybe...or maybe I would be strong, because my mother had a father who loved her and taught her all she needs to raise a good daughter. Who knows?


I am glad I never had to find out what it means not to have my Daddy. Because...who knows?