1, 2, 3, 4, 5....

Today, I am thankful for Life, it has not been easy but the good has definitely outweighed the bad.

I am thankful for God's Provision, every single day is an amazing blessing. 

I am thankful for my Siblings, I am such a patient person because of them.

I am thankful for My Father, he is my hero but he reminds me everyday that every hero is first, just a Man.

I am thankful for My Mother, she did not have all the time in the world to teach me everything, but she left a great example.

I am thankful for my Grandmother who constantly prays for me day and night.

I am thankful for my Friends, a family I am more than lucky to have.

I am thankful for Good food, hope to get those nice curves someday.

I am thankful for the gift of Laughter, it is my fountain of youth.

I am thankful for Sunshine, and if you live in Seattle, I am thankful for you.

I am thankful for my Blackberry, having my friends so close by is a big blessing. 

I am thankful the ability to Love, it is nothing to be taken for granted.

I am thankful for school, and all the great people I have met.

to be continued...

Tête à tête....(1)

Have you ever poured your heart out to someone and told them every little detail about what was on your mind? They were sympathetic, they listened to every word, and gave you the best advice ever. Maybe the person even told you one or two real-life stories about people who had a problem like you did and how it all worked out. They left you feeling better than you had in a long time but only when they are gone do you realize they never once said anything about themselves.....

That's me: The Non-discloser.
But I am not alone.

You meet people everyday who are really open and friendly and outgoing; only until you meet the carefully crafted wall they have built just beneath the surface to keep you out. Not just you, however, it keeps everyone out. And it's shocking. Most times they reached out to you first, they sparked up the conversation and made you comfortable, so comfortable that you found yourself telling them everything, more than you ever told anyone. But when you want to be there for them you don't even know how. You can never spot a crack in their perfectly happy demeanor and they just never seem to need you...or anyone else...

A friend of mine recently described me in these words and I was a little surprised. He was right, of course, but I did not think for a second that anyone could ever see me in that way. After all, I could even pass for a blabbermouth on a good day.... :)

So it's no longer a secret: I love my privacy. But it's not because I don't like people. I love people, I love having people around and talking to them and I love being that friend that people can talk to without fear of being judged or turned away. But when it comes to me, its harder to get me to open up. Beneath that carefree exterior there is a solid wall that gently keeps people out of personal stuff.  But I'm not really that sneaky person that protects their privacy with a Medusa skull on the front porch...

First of all, I have a blog that anyone in the entire world can read whenever they like. And most of the things I put up here are deeply personal, maybe a little more personal than anyone would normally tell strangers. Contradiction, right? Not the way I see it. I keep to myself not because I'm hiding anything, it's really just the way I am. I observe, I listen, I respond when spoken to and when needed. And when I have a problem, I find it much easier to solve it without having to go to the people who come to me. And on the rare occasions that I need to talk, I find that I am able to be completely honest about my feelings.

But that's enough about me for now. What's your unique 'social skill'?

Girl, Stressed

Me, Today -Spyda

Chapters: Two

Once I knew a lonely man; A sad lonely man; A lonely man living in a world that did not know him. A sad man who hid his pain and wore a smile. In the morningtime he looked out of the window with weary eyes hating the dawn of another day, but in the nighttime he sat in the tavern and made all the people laugh and all the maidens blush. And when they were drunken and merry as could be, he hid in the corner away from their eyes. And he remembered Her.

She was love and purity and goodness, his heart. This he knew from the first moment, and then he did not know. At first sight he plunged into love and drank like a man starved. He pursued Her with ardor, Her love was like an elixir running in his veins. At night he dreamed of Her, at noon he craved a sweet word or a gentle smile. She possessed him, She evaded him and flitted out of reach until he opened up his heart and lay it at Her feet, and then She loved him.

Suddenly afraid, he awakened as from a dream. He was afraid to be thought less than a man. And so while She waited by the lake for their evening song he took to the street and sought a loose maiden with no name to lay with. Night after night She waited, and night after night he took more maidens to his bed until their faces were one. Fearing for Her love, She sought him in the streets until She found him in the arms of the tavern wench. She vowed that he would be Her first and last love, the only one She would ever love or lose. She was never seen in the village again.

Now he is a shell of the man he used to be, living in a world that does not know him, remembering Her....

Chapters: One

Why Do I Love You? 

Do you know how much I love you?

I love you today, just enough, for Ever.

Why do I love you?

When I lay awake at night watching you sleep, I ask myself. When I look into your eyes in those rare moments that you are looking into my eyes, I wonder. When you love me with every bit of your body and soul, even then I wonder. And when you hurt me - when you break my heart and pierce my soul - I wonder what keeps me loving you and returning to you. I pray and I wonder.

I do not love you for your Beauty. You are fair, but not the fairest of them, or the most perfect. But you are perfect to me. And if I was blind and could not look upon your face, still I would love you.

I do not love you because of the gifta you bring. Even the world on a platter could not earn my love. But I cherish every moment you spend and every smile you give like drops of pure gold.

I do not love you for your great charm. If you spoke great lengths of verse and made magic happen with your words, I could not love you any more than I already do today, just enough, for Ever.

Now I know that loving you is because of nothing that you do or nothing that you give or nothing that you say or nothing that you are. I love you because you chose me and because I choose you. And until the day Fate wills us apart for good, still will I love you, no matter what you are or what you say or what you give or what you do.

I ask the stars that you love me too.

If only the gods would be so kind........