A few people have heard me mention this before (and probably thought I was kidding around as usual) but I'm happy to announce that I am ACTUALLY ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY ELOPING! It has always been a mini dream of mine to breeze into a Las Vegas chapel with the boy and say my vows,the vows that I have been composing over the past couple of weeks. And I'm finally getting my wish! I will be jetting off in a minute to live that dream and make this wedding about the 2 (ok 3, Jesus inclusive) people who truly have a stake in this. And when the dust settles....let me just say this...watch your mailboxes guys...and 2 words....Turquoise and white sand ( ok 4 words. Sue me)
Wish me luck!!
xoxo
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Musingmus Interruptus
I'll miss you while you're sleeping...
There aren't enough words to describe the way I feel. Alive, breathless, calm, restless, infatuated, impatient...
I'm ready for tomorrow...
Who knows what we'll laugh about, fight about, the things you'll teach me and the things I'll share with you or the things we'll learn together...
I can't believe you're here now
You make me sing inside (and almost attempt it out loud) you make me dance you dance with me you sing to me you sing of me you are my song...
I'll stop now (I can't write when you're watching)
x
There aren't enough words to describe the way I feel. Alive, breathless, calm, restless, infatuated, impatient...
I'm ready for tomorrow...
Who knows what we'll laugh about, fight about, the things you'll teach me and the things I'll share with you or the things we'll learn together...
I can't believe you're here now
You make me sing inside (and almost attempt it out loud) you make me dance you dance with me you sing to me you sing of me you are my song...
I'll stop now (I can't write when you're watching)
x
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Running
I did not make it to church again today.
I woke up early enough, had breakfast, got dressed, wrote the check for my tithes, and then I moseyed around the apartment until service ended. Then I got on the train, ran my after-church errands, and came right back home.
This is the plain truth: I am avoiding God.
There are only a few things that make me retreat so far into myself that I start to pull away: I'm sad, I have done something very wrong, or I am angry...at God.
And boy have I been angry. For years after my mum died, people applauded me for handling things so well. I was focused in school, doing much better than I had ever done; I was helpful and involved at home. And under all that bravery my anger simmered. Every time someone remarked on how much I was growing to look like her and what a great woman she was, my anger simmered beneath the surface and I turned behind them and shook my fists at him. If she was so great, why would he take her away from me?
I eventually got over my angst, and our friendship returned to normal.
Today, I think I'm just sad. Not depressed or self destructive or anything, just s-a-d. If I could paint a picture of how I feel it would be me, sitting in the dark in my closet, waiting for...something.
I don't want to run from God. It is like fighting with your best friend and hating them because you know you can't talk to anyone about it, because no one else can understand or fix it. I know better now than to try to fill the space with anything or anyone else, and I know I should just let it all go and pray, or sing a song, or just talk. But I am not always strong enough or wise enough to do the right thing...
So I run.
xoxo
I woke up early enough, had breakfast, got dressed, wrote the check for my tithes, and then I moseyed around the apartment until service ended. Then I got on the train, ran my after-church errands, and came right back home.
This is the plain truth: I am avoiding God.
There are only a few things that make me retreat so far into myself that I start to pull away: I'm sad, I have done something very wrong, or I am angry...at God.
And boy have I been angry. For years after my mum died, people applauded me for handling things so well. I was focused in school, doing much better than I had ever done; I was helpful and involved at home. And under all that bravery my anger simmered. Every time someone remarked on how much I was growing to look like her and what a great woman she was, my anger simmered beneath the surface and I turned behind them and shook my fists at him. If she was so great, why would he take her away from me?
I eventually got over my angst, and our friendship returned to normal.
Today, I think I'm just sad. Not depressed or self destructive or anything, just s-a-d. If I could paint a picture of how I feel it would be me, sitting in the dark in my closet, waiting for...something.
I don't want to run from God. It is like fighting with your best friend and hating them because you know you can't talk to anyone about it, because no one else can understand or fix it. I know better now than to try to fill the space with anything or anyone else, and I know I should just let it all go and pray, or sing a song, or just talk. But I am not always strong enough or wise enough to do the right thing...
So I run.
xoxo
Monday, August 20, 2012
Pink Slipped
I got fired today. By accident. For about 25 minutes.
It was kind of a funny story...
I was literally working on something important when all my files zapped right before my eyes and my internet shut down. Every attempt to log in to anything was futile. My account had been disabled. I excused myself from the all-important global Monday call and called IT (thankfully they had not shut down my phones or intranet yet).
The IT rep, bless his Indian heart, was obviously confused. He asked me many polite questions, but was really too polite to ask me how I was in the building if my employment had been terminated (I had no idea of course, I'm used to all sorts of IT glitches). Eventually he admitted he couldn't help me and sent me on to HR.
HR was just as confused. After asking about 6 times if I was sure my email still worked, the rep asked me to email them at HR with the problem.
After ages (30 minutes or so) I finally got a call from a senior management person: Someone in HR was processing my visa/tax forms and had just stepped away from his desk when an emergency termination request for another employee came in on his computer. Due to a lack of his morning coffee or a brutal rejection/breakup over the weekend or the death of one of his 8 cats, he accidentally terminated me and the person who needed to be terminated. So everyone I had spoken to saw on their end that I had been terminated ("emergencily" terminated). Technically I was only wiped out of the system for 25 minutes. In practice, it took about 5 hours to get me back online, and I found out tonight I still cannot log in remotely (Bummer ☺).
This is where I pat myself on the back for not panicking at all in spite of the hoopla. With all the craziness going on at the bank lately I wasn't concerned for a second that my job was possibly in danger and I handled it all with grace and humor, if I may say so.
Can't believe it's only Monday..
It was kind of a funny story...
I was literally working on something important when all my files zapped right before my eyes and my internet shut down. Every attempt to log in to anything was futile. My account had been disabled. I excused myself from the all-important global Monday call and called IT (thankfully they had not shut down my phones or intranet yet).
The IT rep, bless his Indian heart, was obviously confused. He asked me many polite questions, but was really too polite to ask me how I was in the building if my employment had been terminated (I had no idea of course, I'm used to all sorts of IT glitches). Eventually he admitted he couldn't help me and sent me on to HR.
HR was just as confused. After asking about 6 times if I was sure my email still worked, the rep asked me to email them at HR with the problem.
After ages (30 minutes or so) I finally got a call from a senior management person: Someone in HR was processing my visa/tax forms and had just stepped away from his desk when an emergency termination request for another employee came in on his computer. Due to a lack of his morning coffee or a brutal rejection/breakup over the weekend or the death of one of his 8 cats, he accidentally terminated me and the person who needed to be terminated. So everyone I had spoken to saw on their end that I had been terminated ("emergencily" terminated). Technically I was only wiped out of the system for 25 minutes. In practice, it took about 5 hours to get me back online, and I found out tonight I still cannot log in remotely (Bummer ☺).
This is where I pat myself on the back for not panicking at all in spite of the hoopla. With all the craziness going on at the bank lately I wasn't concerned for a second that my job was possibly in danger and I handled it all with grace and humor, if I may say so.
Can't believe it's only Monday..
Sunday, August 5, 2012
'Roo-kie'
A few pictures of my day out with the little sis. I think my days as the family model are coming to an end *boo hoo*
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