Loser Like Me

The latest Glee episode, Original Song, had me and millions of fans in rapturous delight over the Glee Club's winning original Regional number, Loser Like Me. The lyrics of the song and the whole idea of the kids in Glee Club got me thinking about myself....

I never considered myself to be a cool kid growing up. As a young child, I was always the youngest -and the smallest- kid in the class, and for weird reasons I liked to do things most kids my age were not interested in; like watching the entire Dynasty series and playing Solitaire for thousands of hours. Of course I spent most of my time alone instead of running around with my peers in primary school like a regular kid. Nevertheless, I had quite a number of friends, maybe even more than your usual quiet kid..... I'd like to think it was because of my winning smile ☺

Fast forward to Secondary School, and I had not quite grown out of my awkwardness. Looking back, I realize I was not quite the weird geeky kid that I thought I was. I had a boyfriend from age 13 onwards, I was friends with the popular girls and probably not a loser by popular standards. But I always felt there was something missing, that X-factor. I was not as daring as these kids, certainly not as confident as they seemed to be and just generally lacking in coolness.

The first time I ever felt cool was in my first year in college at KNUST, Ghana. It was amazing; from the first day, people reached out to me and drew me out of my shell and genuinely wanted to be friends with me. I developed a lot of self-confidence during that first year, and I can honestly say that was the greatest year of my life. And my friends, it has been such a long time and they are still the most wonderful people I know. We were altogether one fantastic group of kids, having fun together and looking out for one another and I totally enjoyed every minute of that year. One thing I did get out of that experience was my X-factor. And, needless to say, I was depressed for a long time when I had to change schools...

These days, I find that I'm no longer looking out for those cool kids, the ones who exude that aura of confidence and fun and light up the room wherever they go. Somehow, because I was accepted without any questions, I have accepted myself and become my own light. I guess the lesson I've pulled out from it all is that sometimes we are harder on ourselves than we need to be. While I was feeling self-conscious and reaching for higher levels of 'Cool' and even looking to associate with the people that I thought would help me fit that profile, there were people who saw those qualities in me that I didn't even see, and those people helped me really see myself and believe in myself. I finally allowed myself to believe that maybe there was something cool about the loser I thought I was..... I have been a believer since. Loser like me....