I miss it. Talking about nothing for hours, making plans, having dreams, sharing secrets....... I am first to announce to anyone that my closest friends are far away, and they are better friends than I could ever find. So today's friends are 'party-buddies' and 'gal-pals', people who know nothing about who I am and share nothing with me but lip gloss and sex-tips. Who am I kidding? My perfect friends are gold, old and aging, preserved only by the gentle sands of time... I have placed them on pedestals of perfection that I created because they are 'safe'. They do not see me everyday, and I only share with them what I want. I can not know what they have become, only that they are perfect and could do no wrong....
I hide because I do not want to be judged. I look around and I am lost, just as everyone else around me. They cannot help me and sadly, I cannot save them..... But I know that we need each other. One day I will look around and need a woman who is strong, whose wisdom can carry me when I am losing my head... I know she will be right beside me... but I will not know her.
