Almost immediately after I wrote my last post, I got the answers I didn't even know I was looking for. The first thing I realized was that it is not my responsibility to make sure people see just how wonderful God is. I had gotten so wrapped up in the journey, in this fantastic story that was unfolding in my life and I had run ahead of God to write the ending that I thought was appropriate. But God's ways are never our ways. And true, He could have given me what I wanted to show that he was all-powerful. But in that near-victory there was a lesson for me. And now that I look back I am grateful for what I thought were disappointments at the time. Because even now, I cannot believe what He did instead, all the wonderful things that were in store for me that I couldn't even begin to imagine or pray for.
And even more than that, I realized that no one questioned me or asked where my God was. I imagined that all on my own and I was so wrapped up in making sure that everyone knew that it was all God's doing that I didn't even realize that He was already showing himself to people around me in ways that only He could. Like one of my best friends who said to me "what God is doing for you is so amazing and I am inspired to be closer to Him so he can look after me too because I need this miracle as well". And guess what, she prayed for the same exact miracle I wanted, and she got her answer. And it was so effortless and beautiful and I couldn't help but envy her for it.
But now I realize, isn't that the whole point? How many times have I asked God to use me? How many times have I told Him I was willing to be His example to everyone around me. And what if my entire journey through that emotional craziness was just to be used by God to inspire someone to reach for what He had in store for her?
It is a little daunting to think about the fact that we are created for His pleasure and that everything in our lives is to serve His purpose, and not always to our benefit alone. But while you ponder that, remember that He is also using everything at His disposal - people, their trials, their blessings, their mistakes, the weather, governments, policies, laws, new technology, any and every thing that you can think of in the world that exists or is yet to exist, even things that you know nothing about - for your good, to bring you that miracle you couldn't even imagine or think to ask for. How crazy awesome is that?
And how great is our God?