Dear Mother {You should see me now}

Ten years and it feels like forever

Ten years and it feels like you left yesterday

You should see me now, trying so hard to be brave for you
You should see me, your mirror-image with even bigger dreams

Nobody understands how desperate I am sometimes,
No one else can feel their hearts tearing and bleeding, and crying and longing

I want to see you again, to tell you all my stories: how life has been cruel, how it has been sweet
I want to tell you how I fell in love, and how he breaks my heart everyday, and why I still love him
I want to ask you so many questions, wish I could learn so much, even if for one day
I want to know how you became a living Legacy, the youngest and brightest of Stars

I feel so lost without you Mum, and every day is like a gamble; a shot in the dark
Sometimes I don't know the right things to say, or the best things to do
Sometimes I listen desperately for your voice, for a little push in the right direction
Sometimes I feel like no one is watching me grow

You should see me now, growing stronger every day
testing my own little wings.
Sometimes I fall. Oh, how I fall
But I get up again, just like you always said, and reach higher, and fly farther
A lot of times I get hurt, and burned, and hurt even more
But I get up again, I reach higher, I fly farther

You should see me now, raising your babies like they were mine
Fighting their battles, soothing their pain
Holding their hands through the hard times and celebrating their success
Your baby boy is almost a man, he is my champion.... You would be so proud
And your baby girl, a leader by nature, a star by day and night,
fearless and tender, she is my rock everyday

I thought I could never live without you, Mum, most days I still do
But I'm learning everyday; it's breaking my heart, but I'm learning
I wish you were here one day longer, so I can tell you again how much I love you

You should see me now..... You can see me now
Just wish I could see you too

Yemisi O. Alade
{1961 - 1998}
Mother, Teacher, Best Friend