Fifty-Five Years Old and still as dumb as the day I got here.
Every day since I have had breasts, I have gotten myself into one kind of trouble or another. And it always comes back to bite me right where it hurts...
Or at least leer at me like my son-in-law's best man is doing right now... in front of 350 guests. What an irreverent imp!
I have stooped low many times in the past years, but my daughter's best friend is a mistake that I will never be able to explain, if it ever got out. It had meant nothing at first when I started to flirt with him at a wedding many months ago. Ever since I turned fifty, I had been feeling old, and something inside of me craved attention, and passion, anything to feel young and attractive again. Imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered that he wanted me too. What started out as thinly veiled banter quickly escalated, and before I knew it, we were upstairs together in the Mayor's Manor while the entire city partied the night away at the biggest wedding of the year. It was so exciting, and a part of me wanted to get caught. How envious would my friends have been? Only I could still command the attention of a twenty-something young man. Just http://adeolawrites.com/what I needed.
But at the back of my mind was one thought. He is in love with my daughter.
I have seen the way he looks at her with naked, intense longing when he thinks no one is watching. For so many years I was convinced he was the one for her. No one has ever been as devoted to her as he is. All her life he has followed her everywhere like a lost puppy and I’m not so surprised that she does not seem to notice. I see myself in her, a self-absorbed princess who barely sees anyone but herself in a room. She is spoiled, just like me, and she feeds off the adoration of others, expecting nothing less than their undivided attention at all times.
I really feel no sympathy for her love-struck friend, he had his chance through all the years he wasted being just friends with her. Good thing he has kept our affair to himself, no reason to create a scandal. What was I thinking? If this ever got out... If any of the things I have done ever get out...
I distract myself from my wayward thoughts by checking everything over one more time with my well-trained eye. The flower arrangements are beautiful, flawless; they will be imitated by many brides in the coming months. The guests are seated just the way I planned, beautiful people in prime spots for the pictures, and the others tucked neatly in corners where they will not be photographed. I should commend the ushers for doing a neat job. Everyone is right where I want them to be; everyone except Aunt Velda, of course. No one tells her what to do. If only she would just smile. It is a happy day! It should be a happy day...
My baby is finally about to marry the man of her dreams. He is a charming young man, from a highly respectable family. And even when I voiced my fears about the speed of their courtship, her father insisted that it is a good match. I know what he really means is that merging his company and the new in-laws' in the future is a good idea. But still, he is her father...
Or is he?
The first time I was introduced to my future son-in-law, my heart stopped. Everything about him was so familiar. Memories of the early days of my marriage came flooding back.
My wedding was a grand affair, much like this one. I was the talk of the town for many months. But wedded life was not what I expected. My new, rich husband had no time for me. Gone was the attentive, dashing man that courted me for many months. Suddenly he was busy at all hours of the day. I spent many lonely afternoons while I listened in on business conference calls and pretended to be interested in his new ideas and his work. My young ambitious husband was caught up with building his empire.
I was bored out of my mind, tired of shopping, tired of long days at the spa. Tired of the gossipy wives club. Being a trophy wife was starting to feel like a chore. Until he suggested that I take my first vacation: he pointed to the globe on his desk "pick any point on the map. I'll pay for it". My first holiday was an exotic island: it was a wonderful time. The sights, the food, the men: charming gentlemen, older, more worldly, distinguished and very determined. It was not hard to break my vows and allow myself to be seduced. It was my delicious secret. As my husband got busier I took more trips, until I came home with a secret that became a baby girl. That stopped me in my wayward tracks, and I was a faithful dutiful wife for the two years until her sister was born.
They are exactly alike in almost every way. Maybe I am afraid for nothing, but I wonder every day...
The music begins and I watch tearfully as my daughter floats down the aisle on my husband's arm. She is so beautiful. At least I got that right. My heart swells with love for her, but it leaves an after-taste of intense fear...
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God, and in the face of these witnesses, to join this Man and this Woman together in holy matrimony; which is honorable..."
I can’t say why but my palms are sweaty now, my heart beating in fear of something. Can I allow her to take this big step with this intense dread of something creeping up on me? What kind of mother am I? I have not prepared her to be a married woman. What if she ends up like me? Makes my mistakes? She knows nothing about being a wife, nothing about making compromises and sacrifices for another person. She is not ready... The thoughts are tumbling over themselves in my head...
"Now, if anyone knows of any reason why these two should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace..."
I feel dizzy. Now is the time. She will hate me forever. Before I allow my head to stop me from doing what my heart knows is right, I hear the words whispered over the nervous silence of the chapel "I DO"
Oh God. Did I do that?
Coming up: Our Family Wedding V (Father of the Groom)
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