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Friday, June 17, 2011

I'm Saving It!!

Anike:
All the lights are blazing. Bedroom, Bathroom, Closet, Hallway.
Shut it Down by Drake is playing on repeat in the background.
Her whole wardrobe is strewn on the floor, on the bed, on every surface that's safe for clothes.
It's date night.
Her sister is perched on the far corner of the bed, eyeing the commotion with a bit of bewilderment, and looking at Anike with a mix of suspicion and envy. "This one you're glowing and buzzing with excitement like this...."
Anike stops applying her cherry-red lipstick midway and looks at her, "Why shouldn't I be excited? It's gonna be a great night!" She giggles and shimmies and does a little twirl to the song, frowns at the lipstick in her mirror-reflection and wipes it off to replace it with clear lipgloss. "You can't kiss properly with lipstick," she explains to her audience and her sister huffs and looks away. But not before she mumbles "Just don't do anything you will regret... It's obvious you really like this one"
"It's just a date, and maybe we'll hang out at his place afterwards and, umm, you know? Nothing serious, he KNOWS."
"I'm just saying. Be careful," her sister retorts. "That's all." 
Anike sighs and sits down, somber for only a minute. She gets this from everyone: her sister, her friends. As soon as she gets excited about a new man in her life the worries surface again, seeming like everyone else is on edge and trying to protect her from herself. But she knows what she's doing, what she has been doing for 23 years.....

Yvonne:
In her mind she's thinking (Oh my gosh, when did my bra get on top of the coffee-table?!!!)
But her hands are running up and down his back, touching him everywhere else too. She's kissing him back ardently, moaning every time his touch grazes her nipples and when *gasp* he. kisses *oh* her. right. there *hmmm* somewhere. between. her. navel. and. her. hipbone. And when he goes even lower, his lips leading the way for his experienced, wicked tongue, she bolts right up from the couch. "We should, erm, we- we should slow down" (Oh shit! shit!) He's half-kneeling on the couch now, arms akimbo. He looks at her with a slight frown, looks down at her hand pointedly, then back up with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "Oh sorry, sorry!" She stammers and blushes red as she snatches her hand from his penis like its hot steel, and then she reaches out again to put it back in the folds of his boxer shorts: a very uncomfortable task because he's suddenly much bigger than when she got him out. (Stupid! Stupid, stupid Yvonne!!) She can't look him in the eyes now, so she wrings her hands with a mortified look on her face hoping the ground opens up and swallows her whole. She hears him smile (isn't that crazy how she's so in tune with him) before he reaches down and lifts her chin up so she's looking into his clear gray eyes. 
"Yvonne. Sweetheart, did I do something wrong?" he asks in that patient, deep voice that melts her every time, almost a whisper.
"No, not- not at all. I just, erm, just want to take it slow. This time" She bites her lower lip, a reflex action. He smiles and places a butterfly kiss right there. (Oh my God, I'm in so much trouble!) He suddenly jumps up, grabs her hand and tugs her up. "Come, I want to show you something. I have a surprise for you, in the bedroom." She followed him, and her only thought as they walked was that the whole apartment was lit up with candles and she absolutely loved this John Legend song flowing out of the speakers. One hour later she was sitting downstairs in her car, heart pounding, a new Michael Kors watch in the passenger seat next to her, waiting for a response to her text message from her frustrated boyfriend. Her message said "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 
In her mind she's thinking (Saved! Again! Thank you Jesus!)

Hadiza:
Nobody knows about The Rape. It's even hard to call it a rape, because there was some consent. Not to everything, just some things. And then he had gotten too insistent and she didn't want to fight it even though she didn't really want it. She had said NO, but then she had enjoyed it. How do you call that Rape? She knew that it must never happen again, it is forbidden. And while it was hard, she made the decision to keep herself away from men completely. No one understands it. She hears all the time "How can a pretty, smart, decent girl like you still be single?" "Hadiza, gaskiya it's been too many years that you have been single. Won't you pick one of these guys that keep toasting you? They're all good men." "Or are you a lesbian now?" "What is your problem?" "Do you think you're too good for me?"
How you explain to them that this is life or death? And the only way you can avoid death is to avoid them all, at all cost? Boyfriends lead to trouble...

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There is a world of people out there, men and women, who have several different reasons for holding on to the almost elusive concept of celibacy. For some of the people I have talked to, it's a new thing they're trying, just some part of their lives they want to control in this crazy world we find ourselves in. For others, it is a lifelong journey of holding on to something they perceive as sacred. Other people find it is a choice that they have been given, the cause of it fear or past hurt or mistakes that have been made. And the lines are seriously blurred. Everyone defines it differently and there are many different boundaries that people involved set for themselves. My favorite quote on the subject, "I'm a virgin, but they probably don't think so in Heaven." And just as with every lifestyle choice that people around us make, we all have an opinion about it. What's the big deal? Does this make them think they're better than everybody else? What is wrong with them? They must have a problem, a defect somewhere, a lack of opportunity. But as a friend told me last Sunday, "It's a CHOICE. If I am not asking you to deal with it by being in a relationship with me, it really isn't any of your business". And here I rest my case.

5 comments:

  1. celibacy! its a tight one dear! my opinion is simple.. if you want to stay celibate then don't go into a relationship except if your partner is on the same roll! else, you might just continue to move from one trouble to the other! i also have to mention that sometimes, sex in a relationship also ruins it! a guy thinks i have tasted the honey from the pot, what else does she have to offer? so it is a dicey situation! *sighs*

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  2. Nice one Dami...Celibacy is kinda sensitive but ultimately the decision to remain celibate for whatever reason is a choice...mixed with all kinds of experiences and internal convictions..

    I also agree with Fido..it's kinda hard to remain celibate if one's partner is stubborn and has a totally different view...a lotta guys can't take it...my view, it has to be a mutual understanding at the end of the day.

    I respect girls/guys who choose to remain celebate though. (No be beans)

    This is Ayo by the way (@awizii) couldn't post using the wordpress thing don't know why....I really like your literary style.

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  3. Good job with this, it reads like a novel. The choice of celibacy must be respected. I think it shouldn't ruin a relationship, because at the end of the day you're going to need more than sex from the woman or man you'll spend your life with.

    Once you compromise your ideals, nobody might know, but it will always bother you. I like your quote about virginity, you are what you say you are.

    Hate to sound cliche but it's been said "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

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  4. My phone won't let me be great with commenting earlier.

    3 things...
    1. I love, love, love
    2. I am inspired to write, this was awesome
    3. I am celibate and will remain so for a very long time to come.

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