Raising Mothers

Photo Credit: Franque

I am the Devil's Advocate (really, he pays me to argue his side ☺) and I think it is time to discuss an issue that no one else seems to be talking about: this generation of women. It is no secret that lately I have shared my disappointment and despair at the behavior of women and that I have been searching for answers to understand why we women today are just as 'evil' and misguided as the men that we all point fingers at (don't nod yet, I'm talking about ALL of us) and no one seems to be concerned about it. The first thing I found as I asked around is that I am as naïve as a 6-yr old princess living in a convent...and the second thing is that EVERYBODY BLAMES THE MEN and women have, again, welcomed another opportunity to be labeled as the victims.

We all talk about absentee fathers and men who cheat and fathers who abandon their children and create multiple families all over the place. Men blame their behavior on not having a father figure around the home to look up to, and women are quick to point out that the reason that they quickly lose their self worth before they are old enough to wear heels is because of a lack of male love and attention in their formative years. I say it is time to start putting some responsibility in the laps of our mothers (all women).

Society is deteriorating for so many reasons that it would be impossible to discuss them all with this medium. And while I lay no claims on expertise on social issues, I know that women today are not innocent in the spectacle that our world has become. Before you decry how terrible men are the next time you hear a sordid tale, think about the women who play a key role in the situation. For instance, we all talk about how unfaithful men are and forget that many men who cheat do so with women who know that they are unavailable. There are millions of exceptions, I know, but I am arguing for the devil here☺.

Many women today are hurt, angry, even bitter and are looking for answers in all the wrong places. It seems that we have forgotten to look back to where we come from, to the mothers who raised us, who should have the answers that they have gathered through years of experience and learning. Or maybe we have not forgotten...and there is just nothing to find. Mothers today appear to have lost their voices when it comes to bringing up the children that they suffered so much to carry and birth and are content to allow the world to place the blame on men who, of course, have developed a tough skin to our harsh judgement and criticism. Or maybe the cycle of victimhood goes back so far that women have forgotten what it means to be the backbone and nurturer of the family.

What do we women today learn from the women that have come before us? As a young woman who is on the fence about her identity as a home-maker and a 21st-Century career-oriented woman, I will avoid the Stepford Wives debate. However, a progressive society, complete with feminine liberation and independence is no reason or excuse for women to lose their identities or become so discordant that we become problems for one another. And while they say it takes a village to raise a child, I really do not think we want a global village led by the Bad Girls' Club, Real Housewives of Suburbia and the new school of Profit-seeking Wives to raise our daughters.

So yes, there is a problem and it does not belong to the men. Who is teaching girls to be ladies in the street while the rest of the world teaches us to be freaks in the sheets (and everywhere else)? How long before we no longer have a culture because we're to cool to cook, or too fabulous not to be fake? Is this the next generation of mothers?